Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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