I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
