I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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