IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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