I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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