went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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