i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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