well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
