There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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