i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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