I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
worst night to have a conscience
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
