Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
