summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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