Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
