Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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