At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
