if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
