people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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