I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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