remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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