I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
