If i come over, it means nothing
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
