He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
