I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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