I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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