Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
