i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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