Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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