I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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