Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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