why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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