I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
