I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
