Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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