OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize