I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
