Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
