Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
