I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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