Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
