dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got inside last night via doggy door
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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