Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
