you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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