I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
