I will die if light touches me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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