how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
