DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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