did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
