I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
