This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
