Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
