either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
