After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A+ Viking dick
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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