FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
