dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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