Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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