First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
