"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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