i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
