hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
