just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
