Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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