my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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