Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I am one with the molecules
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
