Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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