She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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