You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
