yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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