TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
