SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
