im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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